Crushed

Saw Bierstadt again. We sinned. He led me to the rustic park near the river's edge, where we watched the boats turn in the current, and the ducks in the lea of the plants along the water's edge, and it grew hot, then cool damp as dusk drew down. We did not speak, or at least, very little, and as the evening wore on we found ourselves lying tangled in the long grass. Such sighs! When I returned to the Hotel, Ludlow was passed beyond all waking, from laudenaum. I sat beside the bed, with my hand upon the counterpane; - I could not bring my traitorous hand to touch his, lying there, soft and innocent as a child's - and listening to his troubled sleep, restless tho' drugged. I thought about our life together: in four years, Ludlow has not touched me like a husband, but tonight with Albert, it seemed as natural and right and beautiful as the rising of the stars. Finally I fell asleep, with my gown still fastened, and my hair pinned up, somehow, and woke to prepare myself hastily for the new day before Ludlow wakened and took note of my state. Today is our last day together before he and Albert go West.